Character Trait: Dependent

To engage your reader, it's important to always show not tell the traits of your characters. The character trait Dependent refers to a person who relies heavily on others to make decisions, solve problems, or meet their emotional needs. Dependent individuals often lack self-confidence and find it difficult to function independently, seeking constant reassurance and guidance from those around them. They may struggle with making decisions, taking risks, or facing challenges on their own, instead preferring to rely on others for support. In some cases, this trait can lead to a lack of independence and a tendency to cling to others, which can be detrimental to personal growth and development.

Possible causes of being dependent

You might want to weave these into your character's back story to build a more believable character.

• Fear of abandonment or rejection
• Cultural or societal expectations of dependency in relationships
• Traumatic experiences that lead to a need for security and safety
• Learned behavior from observing others who are dependent
• Overprotective or controlling parents
• Low self-esteem or self-worth
• Lack of decision-making skills or confidence in their own judgment

Behaviors associated with being dependent

You may be able to show your character's trait of dependent by using these.

• Struggling to set boundaries and assert one's own needs in relationships
• Sacrificing personal goals and desires for the sake of pleasing others
• Clinging to others for emotional support and validation
• Relying heavily on others for decision-making and problem-solving
• Struggling to make decisions without the input or approval of others
• Allowing others to dictate one's thoughts, beliefs, and actions
• Avoiding taking initiative or responsibility for one's own life
• Feeling anxious or lost when alone or without the support of others

Attitudes associated with being dependent

You may be able to show dependent through their attitudes.

• Seeking validation and approval from others
• Being easily influenced by others' opinions or actions
• Being afraid of rejection or abandonment
• Avoiding taking risks or making choices independently
• Struggling to assert oneself or communicate needs
• Feeling anxious or stressed when alone or without support
• Feeling helpless or incapable without support
• Preferring to follow rather than lead
• Relying on others for decision-making

Thoughts and struggles associated with being dependent

Here are some ideas for things your dependent character may think or struggle with.

• Difficulty making decisions without the input or guidance of others
• Difficulty taking responsibility for their actions and often blaming others for their problems
• Constantly seeking approval and validation from others
• May struggle with self-esteem and self-worth, often feeling inferior to others
• Fear of being alone or abandoned
• May have a strong desire to please others, even at the expense of their own well-being
• Struggles with asserting their own needs and desires
• Can become easily overwhelmed or anxious when faced with challenges or uncertainty
• Tendency to cling to others in relationships, sometimes to the point of being overly needy or codependent

Emotions associated with being dependent

Here are some ideas for emotions your dependent character may experience.

• Passivity
• Helplessness
• Insecurity
• Reliance on others
• Clinginess
• Low self-esteem
• Lack of confidence
• Need for approval
• Indecisiveness
• Anxiety
• Fear

Facial expressions associated with being dependent

Here are some facial expressions your dependent character may exhibit.

• Pleading eyes
• Pursed lips
• Quivering lower lip
• Nervous fidgeting
• Downcast gaze
• Wide-eyed look of fear or worry
• Appeasing smile
• Biting or licking lips
• Raised eyebrows

Body language associated with being dependent

Here is some body language your dependent character may exhibit.

• Seeking physical proximity to others
• Clasping hands or fidgeting with clothing
• Reluctance to make decisions or take initiative
• Speaking softly or hesitantly
• Appearing nervous or anxious in social situations
• Displaying a lack of confidence or assertiveness in body language
• Avoiding eye contact
• Slouching or hunching shoulders

Behaviors associated with being dependent

Here are some behaviors your dependent character may exhibit.

• Struggling to make decisions without the input or approval of others
• Sacrificing personal goals and desires for the sake of pleasing others
• Allowing others to dictate one's thoughts, beliefs, and actions
• Clinging to others for emotional support and validation
• Relying heavily on others for decision-making and problem-solving
• Feeling anxious or lost when alone or without the support of others
• Struggling to set boundaries and assert one's own needs in relationships
• Avoiding taking initiative or responsibility for one's own life

Growth and evolution of dependent characters

Here are some ways that your dependent character may grow and evolve over time.

• Learn to trust oneself and make decisions without relying on others for constant validation or approval
• Learn to cope with setbacks and failures, using them as opportunities for growth and learning
• Take responsibility for one's own actions and stop blaming others for one's problems
• Develop a sense of self-worth and self-esteem, realizing that one's value is not solely based on the opinions or actions of others
• Develop empathy and compassion for others, realizing that everyone has their own struggles and challenges
• Gain independence and self-sufficiency through personal development and inner strength
• Find a sense of purpose and direction in life, pursuing goals and ambitions with determination and confidence
• Form healthy relationships based on mutual respect and equality rather than dependency or neediness
• Overcome fears and insecurities that have held the character back from pursuing their goals or dreams

Stereotypes of dependent characters to avoid

Try to avoid writing stereotypical dependent character like these examples.

• Avoid making the dependent character seem overly reliant on others for their happiness or well-being.
• Avoid making the dependent character appear weak or helpless.
• Avoid making the dependent character lack agency or the ability to make decisions for themselves.
• Avoid portraying the dependent character as clingy or overly emotional.
• Avoid using the dependent character as a plot device to create conflict or tension between other characters.

Negatives of being dependent

Here are some potential negatives of being dependent. Note: These are subjective and some might also be seen as positives depending on the context.

• Over-reliance on others for emotional support
• Difficulty in setting and achieving personal goals
• Fear of abandonment or rejection
• Tendency to avoid challenges or risks
• Inability to make decisions independently
• Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness
• Difficulty in taking responsibility for one's actions
• Lack of self-confidence and low self-esteem
• Being easily influenced by others

Positives of being dependent

Here are some potential positives of being dependent. Note: These are subjective and some might also be seen as negatives depending on the context.

• It can also encourage teamwork and collaboration in group settings.
• Dependence can lead to a sense of security and comfort, knowing that you have a support system.
• It allows you to rely on and trust others to provide support and assistance when needed.
• Dependence can foster a sense of humility and gratitude, recognizing and appreciating the help and contributions of others.
• Being dependent can help build strong relationships with others.

Verbal expressions of dependent characters

Here are some potential expressions used by dependent characters.

• "I can't do it without you."
• "I need you to tell me what to do."
• "I can't handle this on my own."
• "I'm not comfortable making decisions without your input."
• "I don't know what I would do without you."
• "I'm lost without your guidance."
• "What do you think I should do?"
• "I need your approval before I make a decision."
• "I'm not sure what to do next."

Relationships of dependent characters

Here are some ways that being dependent could affect your character's relationships.

• They may struggle with decision-making and defer to others for guidance or direction.
• They may fear being alone or abandoned, and may go to great lengths to avoid this.
• Dependent people may rely heavily on others for emotional support and validation.
• They may seek out caretaking or nurturing relationships, and may be willing to sacrifice their own needs to maintain these relationships.
• They may struggle with boundaries and may become enmeshed or overly dependent on others.
• They may feel uncomfortable asserting their own needs or opinions, and may conform to others' expectations or beliefs.
• They may experience anxiety or distress when faced with situations that require independence or self-sufficiency.

Examples from books of characters who are dependent

• Boo Radley from "To Kill a Mockingbird"
• Lenny from "Of Mice and Men"
• Holden's younger sister Phoebe from "The Catcher in the Rye"
• Piggy from "Lord of the Flies"
• George and Hazel from "Harrison Bergeron"
• Wilbur the pig from "Charlotte's Web"
• Charlie Bucket from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"
• Arthur Dent from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
• Neville Longbottom from the "Harry Potter" series

Writing exercises for writing dependent characters

Here are some writing exercises you might try for learning to write dependent characters.

• Write a scene where the character faces a problem or obstacle that they cannot solve on their own. How do they react? Who do they turn to for help?
• Explore the consequences of the character's dependence. How does it affect their relationships with others? Does it hold them back from achieving their goals?
• Create a backstory that explains why the character is dependent on others. What experiences or relationships led to this trait?
• Write a scene where the dependent character must take care of themselves or someone else. How do they handle the responsibility?
• Create a character who is the opposite of the dependent character, someone who is fiercely independent. How do these two characters interact? What conflicts arise?
• Write a scene where the character relies on someone else to complete a task or make a decision.
• Write a scene where the character tries to break free from their dependence. How do they attempt to become more independent? Do they succeed or fail?