100+ Character Traits of Understanding People

To engage your reader, it's important to always show, not tell, the traits of your characters.

Understanding is the ability to comprehend and empathize with the thoughts, feelings, and perspectives of others. It involves being open-minded, patient, and compassionate toward people and situations, even when they differ from our own beliefs or experiences. Understanding individuals are able to see beyond surface-level differences and seek to find common ground and connections with those around them. This trait is important for building healthy relationships, resolving conflicts, and fostering a sense of community and belonging.

Possible Causes of Being Understanding

You might want to weave these into your character's backstory to build a more believable character:

• They have a natural curiosity about the world and the people in it.

• They have a desire to learn and expand their knowledge.

• They are open-minded and willing to consider different perspectives and opinions.

• They are empathetic and can put themselves in other people's shoes.

• They are introspective and reflect on their own thoughts and feelings.

• They are patient and take the time to understand complex ideas or situations.

• They are good listeners and pay attention to verbal and nonverbal communication.

Attitudes Related to Being Understanding

You may be able to show being understanding through your character's attitudes:

• Forgiving

• Nonjudgmental

• Tolerant

• Open-mindedness

• Empathy toward others

• Patient

• Compassionate

• Willingness to listen

• Accepting of differences

Thoughts and Struggles Linked to Being Understanding

Here are some ideas for things your understanding character may think or struggle with:

• They may struggle with their own biases and judgments and constantly challenge themselves to overcome them.

• They may struggle with their own feelings of anger or frustration, but work to understand the root causes and communicate them in a constructive way.

• An understanding character is empathetic and compassionate toward others and tries to see things from their perspective.

• They may feel overwhelmed by the emotions and experiences of others and struggle to find a balance between helping and maintaining their own boundaries.

• They may feel a strong desire to make a positive impact in the world and may struggle with feelings of guilt or inadequacy when they can't do as much as they want to.

• They may feel conflicted when they encounter someone who has done something wrong or hurtful and try to understand the reasons behind their actions without condoning them.

• They may feel frustrated or powerless when they can't seem to connect with or help someone, but they continue to try and find alternative ways to reach them.

Emotions Associated With Being Understanding

Here are some ideas for emotions your understanding character may experience:

• Patience

• Empathy

• Tolerance

• Compassion

• Respect

• Acceptance

• Open-mindedness

• Nonjudgmental

• Forgiveness

Facial Expressions Related to Being Understanding

Here are some facial expressions your understanding character may exhibit:

• Gentle touch or pat on the arm/shoulder

• Soft smile

• Tilting head to one side

• Nodding head

• Furrowing eyebrows in concern

• Raised eyebrows

• Relaxing facial muscles

• Maintaining eye contact

• Leaning forward

Body Language Associated With Being Understanding

Here is some body language your understanding character may exhibit:

• Active listening: responding with verbal and nonverbal cues that show understanding and empathy, such as saying, "I understand" or "That must be difficult" and nodding or making affirmative sounds

• Eye contact: looking directly at the person speaking with a soft gaze and nodding occasionally to show engagement

• Patience: taking the time to listen and not interrupting or rushing the conversation

• Open posture: having relaxed shoulders, arms uncrossed, and facing the person with an open stance

• Mirroring: subtly imitating the other person's body language and expressions to show that you are on the same page and understand their perspective

• Leaning in: showing interest and attention by leaning in slightly toward the person speaking

Behaviors Related to Being Understanding

Here are some behaviors your understanding character may exhibit:

• Being patient and tolerant of different opinions and beliefs

• Offering support and encouragement to others in difficult situations

• Listening carefully to others without interrupting or judging them

• Empathizing with others' perspectives and emotions

• Seeking to understand the root causes of conflicts or misunderstandings

• Asking questions to clarify or explore others' thoughts or feelings

• Avoiding assumptions or stereotypes about people or situations

Growth and Evolution of Understanding Characters

Here are some ways that your understanding character may grow and evolve over time:

• Develop problem-solving skills

• Learn to forgive themselves or others

• Develop a sense of responsibility toward others

• Overcome personal biases or prejudices

• Develop empathy toward other characters or situations

• Learn to adapt to changing circumstances

• Learn to communicate better with others

• Become more self-aware and reflective

• Gain a deeper understanding of their own values and beliefs

Stereotypes of Understanding Characters to Avoid

Try to avoid writing stereotypical understanding characters like these examples:

• Avoid making the character completely selfless, as this can also be unrealistic and may not allow for enough conflict in the story.

• Avoid making the character overly emotional or sentimental, as this can become tiresome for readers.

• Avoid making the character too perfect or flawless, as this can come across as unrealistic.

• Avoid making the character too naïve or innocent, as this can come across as simplistic or cliché.

• Avoid making the character overly passive or always giving in to others' demands.

Negatives of Being Understanding

Here are some potential negatives of being understanding. Note: These are subjective, and some might also be seen as positives depending on the context.

• It can be exhausting to always put yourself in someone else's shoes and try to see things from their perspective.

• Being too understanding can make you appear passive or indecisive.

• People may take advantage of your understanding nature and manipulate you.

• It can be difficult to set boundaries and say no when you are always trying to understand and accommodate others.

Positives of Being Understanding

Here are some potential positives of being understanding. Note: These are subjective, and some might also be seen as negatives depending on the context.

• Enables you to provide genuine support and comfort to others

• Enhances your emotional intelligence and social skills

• Helps you recognize and appreciate diversity and differences

• Encourages open communication and active listening

• Fosters a sense of unity and harmony in groups or communities

• Helps build strong relationships based on empathy and respect

• Allows you to defuse conflicts and find mutually beneficial solutions

• Promotes personal growth and self-awareness

• Enables you to put yourself in others' shoes and see things from their perspective

Verbal Expressions of Understanding Characters

Here are some potential expressions used by understanding characters:

• "I appreciate your point of view."

• "I'm here to listen."

• "I don't judge you."

• "I respect your feelings."

• "Let's work together to find a solution."

• "I can imagine how that must feel."

• "I understand your perspective."

• "I hear what you're saying."

• "I see where you're coming from."

• "I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Relationships of Understanding Characters

Here are some ways that being understanding could affect your character's relationships:

• Empathy: Understanding people are able to put themselves in others' shoes and see things from their perspective. This helps them to be more empathetic toward others and build stronger connections with them.

• Open-mindedness: They are open to different perspectives and opinions, which helps them to build more diverse and inclusive relationships.

• Flexibility: They are willing to adapt and adjust to others' needs and preferences, which helps to build trust and a sense of mutual respect.

• Nonjudgmental attitude: They avoid judging others based on their beliefs, choices, or behaviors, which helps to create a safe and welcoming environment for open communication and vulnerability.

• Active listening: They actively listen to others without interrupting or judging, which helps them gain a deeper understanding of their thoughts and feelings.

• Patience: They are patient with others, especially when there are disagreements or misunderstandings, and work to resolve issues in a calm and respectful manner.

Writing Exercises for Writing Understanding Characters

Here are some writing exercises you might try for learning to write understanding characters:

• Create a dialogue where your character uses reflective listening techniques to validate and clarify what the other person is saying. Show how they repeat back what they heard and ask follow-up questions to gain deeper understanding.

• Write a scene where your character has to defuse a conflict between two other people. Show how they use active listening and empathy to help both parties feel heard and understood.

• Give your character a mentor or role model who embodies the understanding trait. Write a scene where your character learns from this person and applies their teachings to a real-life situation.

• Write a monologue where your character reflects on a past mistake or misunderstanding they had due to their lack of understanding. Show how they take responsibility for their actions and commit to doing better in the future.

• Create a scenario where your character is in a position of power or authority and has to make a decision that affects others. Show how they gather information, consider different viewpoints, and weigh the consequences before making a choice.

• Imagine your character encountering a situation that challenges their beliefs or assumptions. Write a scene where they confront their biases and try to see things from a different angle.

• Write a scene where your character listens actively to someone who has a different perspective than them. Show how they ask questions, seek to understand, and empathize with the other person's point of view.