100+ Insecure Character Traits: How to Write Insecure Characters

To engage your reader, it's important to always show, not tell, the traits of your characters.

The character trait insecure refers to a lack of confidence or self-doubt that can manifest in various ways. Insecure characters may feel uncertain about their abilities, appearance, or relationships and may seek validation or reassurance from others. They may be prone to anxiety, self-criticism, or comparison to others and may struggle to assert themselves or make decisions. Insecurity can be a complex and nuanced trait that can add depth and realism to a character and can be explored in different ways depending on the story and genre.

Possible Causes of Being Insecure

You might want to weave these into your character's backstory to build a more believable character:

• Genetic predisposition or underlying mental health conditions, such as anxiety or depression

• Cultural or societal pressures to conform to certain standards of beauty, success, or behavior

• Childhood experiences of neglect, rejection, or abuse

• Unresolved issues or conflicts in personal relationships

• Perfectionism or fear of failure

• Low self-esteem or lack of self-confidence

• Social isolation or lack of support from friends or family

• Overly critical or controlling parents or caregivers

• Trauma or significant life changes, such as a breakup or job loss

Attitudes Linked to Being Insecure

You may be able to show insecurity through their attitudes:

• Overthinking and second-guessing decisions

• Difficulty in making decisions

• Comparing oneself to others

• Self-doubt

• Avoiding challenges or risks

• Fear of failure or criticism

• Feeling unworthy or inferior

• Constantly seeking validation from others

• Lack of confidence

Thoughts and Struggles Associated With Insecurity

Here are some ideas for things your insecure character may think or struggle with:

• Constantly comparing themselves to others and feeling inadequate

• Struggling with self-doubt and low self-esteem

• Being overly sensitive to feedback or perceived criticism

• Seeking validation from others to feel better about themselves

• Fearing rejection or criticism from others

• Avoiding situations that make them feel vulnerable or exposed

• Feeling like an impostor or fraud, even if they have achieved success

• Feeling like they don't belong or fit in with their peers

• Overthinking and second-guessing their decisions and actions

Emotions Related to Insecurity

Here are some ideas for emotions your insecure character may experience:

• Difficulty accepting compliments

• Perfectionism

• Fear of failure

• Avoiding situations that trigger insecurities

• Self-doubt

• Needing validation from others

• Feeling vulnerable

• Comparing oneself to others

• Shame

• Feeling inadequate

• Anxiety

• Lack of confidence

Facial Expressions Associated With Being Insecure

Here are some facial expressions your insecure character may exhibit:

• Drooping or tense shoulders

• Nervous laughter or stuttering

• Fidgeting or playing with hair or clothes

• Biting or licking lips

• Tightly closed lips or a forced smile

• Blushing or flushing

• Covering the face or mouth with hands

• Hunching or slouching posture

• Avoiding eye contact

Body Language Associated With Being Insecure

Here is some body language your insecure character may exhibit:

• Touching or covering the face or neck

• Blushing or flushing

• Slumping or slouching posture

• Crossing arms or legs in front of the body

• Standing or sitting with shoulders hunched or rounded forward

• Fidgeting or nervous movements, such as tapping fingers or bouncing legs

• Shifting weight from foot to foot

• Speaking softly or hesitantly

• Biting nails or lips

• Avoiding eye contact or looking down

Behaviors Linked With Being Insecure

Here are some behaviors your insecure character may exhibit:

• Comparing oneself to others and feeling jealous or envious

• Avoiding situations that may trigger feelings of inadequacy or inferiority

• Being easily influenced by others' opinions or actions

• Being hesitant or indecisive in making choices or decisions

• Overcompensating for perceived weaknesses or flaws

• Being overly apologetic or self-deprecating

• Being overly self-critical or self-conscious

• Being defensive or reactive to criticism or feedback

• Constantly seeking validation or reassurance from others

Growth and Evolution of Insecure Characters

Here are some ways that your insecure character may grow and evolve over time:

• Setting achievable goals and working toward them

• Learning from their mistakes and using them as opportunities for growth

• Recognizing their strengths and talents

• Taking small steps outside of their comfort zone to build confidence

• Challenging negative self-talk and replacing it with positive affirmations

• Seeking help from a therapist, mentor, or trusted friend to work through their insecurities

• Surrounding themselves with supportive and positive people

• Overcoming their fears and facing their insecurities head on

• Acknowledging their insecurities and accepting them as a part of themselves

Stereotypes of Insecure Characters to Avoid

Try to avoid writing stereotypical insecure characters like these examples:

• Avoid portraying your insecure character as a pushover or a doormat.

• Avoid making your insecure character overly needy or dependent on others.

• Avoid making your insecure character always second-guessing themselves or being indecisive.

• Avoid making your insecure character a caricature or a one-dimensional stereotype.

• Avoid making your insecure character constantly seeking validation or approval from others.

• Avoid portraying your insecure character as jealous or envious of others.

• Avoid making your insecure character overly self-critical or self-deprecating.

• Avoid making your insecure character unable to take constructive criticism or feedback.

• Avoid making your insecure character constantly comparing themselves to others.

Negatives of Being Insecure

Here are some potential negatives of being insecure. Note: These are subjective, and some might also be seen as positives depending on the context.

• Feeling defensive or easily offended

• Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback

• Doubting oneself and one's abilities

• Feeling anxious or self-conscious in social situations

• Comparing oneself to others and feeling inferior

• Overthinking and second-guessing decisions

• Difficulty with intimacy or forming close relationships due to fear of rejection

• Tendency to avoid challenges or taking risks due to fear of failure

• Constantly seeking validation and approval from others

Positives of Being Insecure

Here are some potential positives of being insecure. Note: These are subjective, and some might also be seen as negatives depending on the context.

• It can add depth to a character's personality and make them more complex.

• Insecurity can make a character relatable and realistic.

• It can be a driving force for a character's growth and development.

• Insecurity can create internal conflict for a character, making them more interesting to follow.

• Insecurity can lead to empathy and understanding toward others who may also struggle with self-doubt.

Common Actions of Insecure Characters

Here are some common actions of insecure characters:

• Overexplaining or justifying one's actions or decisions

• Being overly defensive or sensitive to criticism

• Seeking validation from others

• Second-guessing oneself or being indecisive

• Constantly apologizing for oneself

• Self-deprecating humor or comments

• Negative self-talk or self-criticism

• Stuttering or stumbling over words

• Avoiding eye contact or fidgeting

Relationships of Insecure Characters

Here are some ways that being insecure could affect your character's relationships:

• Insecure people may be jealous and possessive, often feeling threatened by other people in their partner's life.

• They may struggle with expressing their needs and emotions, leading to miscommunication and misunderstandings in relationships.

• They may struggle with trusting others and may constantly seek reassurance from their partners or friends.

• Insecure people may be overly dependent on others for validation and approval.

• Insecure people may be easily triggered by criticism or rejection, often taking things personally and feeling defensive.

• They may struggle with boundaries, either being too clingy or too distant in their relationships.

Examples From Books of Characters Who Are Insecure

• Charlie from The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

• Holden Caulfield from The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

• Emma Woodhouse from Emma by Jane Austen

• Hamlet from Hamlet by William Shakespeare

• Ignatius J. Reilly from A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole

• Bella Swan from Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

• Winston Smith from 1984 by George Orwell

• Esther Greenwood from The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

Writing Exercises for Writing Insecure Characters

Here are some writing exercises you might try for learning to write insecure characters:

• Write a scene where the character receives feedback, either positive or negative, about their work or their behavior. Show how they react to the feedback and how it affects their self-esteem.

• Write a scene where the character is getting ready for a date or a job interview. Show their inner dialogue and the physical gestures that reveal their insecurities.

• Write a scene where the character is in a group setting, such as a party or a meeting. Show how the character interacts with others, whether they are withdrawn or try to fit in, and how their insecurities affect their behavior.

• Write a scene where the character meets someone they perceive as more successful or confident than them. Show how the character compares themselves to the other person and how it affects their self-esteem.

• Write a scene where the character faces a challenge or a setback. Show how their insecurities hinder their ability to cope and how they try to overcome them.

• Write a dialogue between the character and a friend, where the friend tries to reassure the character about something they are worried about. Show how the character reacts to the reassurance and whether it helps or not.

• Write a monologue where the character reflects on their insecurities and how they have affected their life choices. Show their self-doubt and their desire to overcome it.