How to Write a Memoir in 6 Simple Steps

A memoir is one of the most personal things someone can write. That can make it feel daunting or overwhelming. It requires a vulnerability that writing fiction just doesn’t. 

The most important part of writing a memoir, like any story, is getting the words on the page. But typically, you don’t just sit down and write your memoir start to finish without a few other steps first.

We’ve broken down how to write a memoir into six steps you can follow to tell the story of your heart and create a finished piece you can be proud of. These steps are:

1. Pick a unifying theme or event

2. Start with a summary

3. Audit your memories

4. Plan the book’s structure

5. Write the memoir

6. Edit for engagement and clarity

Don’t forget the final step: editing. This is what takes your memoir from good to great, and we’ll show you how to get there.

But first, let’s quickly cover what a memoir is.

What Is a Memoir?

Let’s start with making sure we’re on the same page about what a memoir is and what it isn’t.

Memoirs tend to be personal and intimate, with a focus on descriptive and colorful language to excite and engage readers.

Memoirs also vary in length. They range from personal essays to full-length books. But don’t worry—our steps for writing a memoir work no matter the length.

Memoir vs Autobiography

Many people confuse memoirs and autobiographies. They’re similar, but there are some key differences between them.

The key difference between a memoir and an autobiography is the span. An autobiography spans an entire lifetime, while a memoir’s anecdotes focus on a specific theme or event from the author’s life.

You get a lot more creative freedom with a memoir. Whereas an autobiography is generally told in order, you don’t have to write your memoir sequentially. You might:

• Jump between childhood and adulthood

• Arrange the stories in order of importance to you

• Use flashbacks mixed with the present

Finally, the biggest difference is what a memoir evokes in a reader. There’s always some sort of theme or message in a memoir, even when it’s centered around a specific event. The point is emotional connection with a reader through the stories you tell.

Autobiographies can evoke emotion, but the main focus is on the facts of each event. It’s a primary source of historical information. That doesn’t mean the author isn’t inspiring, though. It just means that isn’t the ultimate goal of the autobiography.

Memoirs also enjoy much freedom with how the prose is written. Since the focus isn’t as heavy on facts but more on the author’s memory of an event, some things may not be entirely factual. Memoirs may put in dialogue similar to what occurred because they can’t recall every detail.

Memoirists will also edit for engaging prose rather than dryer, more factual writing.

When you write a memoir, you should make sure your words evoke an emotional reaction in your readers. This means using things like literary devices, sensory details, and action to tell your story.

How to Write a Memoir

There are a few important steps to consider before you start writing your memoir. If you’ve got an idea for a story or anecdote, by all means, write it down. 

But planning a memoir before you start the bulk of the writing will make your memoir feel more cohesive and less like a jumble of memories. 

Let’s get started. 

1. Pick a Unifying Event or Theme

First, you’ll need to decide whether your memoir is focused on a unifying theme or event(s). Here are some ideas for common themes covered by memoirs:

• Self-discovery

• Coming of age

• Overcoming adversity

• Importance of family relationships

• Faith

• Healing

Event-based memoirs will still have a theme, but they are focused on specific events. Some ideas for events you might write a memoir about include:

• Travel/study abroad

• Career experiences

• Dating

• Political activism

• Military service

• Physical challenges

What does this look like in practice? Let’s say I wanted to write a coming-of-age memoir. For a theme-based memoir, I could use events and anecdotes from my life that were formative, without the events needing to be otherwise connected.

Or I could write a memoir about my three study-abroad experiences, with a focus on how they helped me grow up.

Both are coming-of-age stories, but in the second example, all the stories I include would need to come from my study-abroad experiences. 

2. Start With a Summary

A summary is a great place to start for any long piece of writing (and it works for essays too). It helps guide your focus, so when you start to plan your memoir, you’ll keep the story cohesive.

Some writers prefer to start with a one-sentence summary. A common structure for this, often used by English teachers teaching summarization, is “somebody wanted but so then.” 

In a memoir, YOU are the somebody. What did you want and what was keeping you from it? What did you do and then what happened next?

You might find a paragraph or even a one- to two-page summary more helpful for you.

Whichever strategy you choose for a summary, consider these questions to guide you:

• What emotions do you want to convey/evoke in your readers?

• What memories are the most significant to you?

• What were your goals and how have they changed?

• How did the events in your life change or shape you?

• What underlying themes can you identify in your life?

3. Audit Your Memories

You can’t write a memoir without plenty of memories. 

Start by recording all the memories you can think of related to your theme or event. You probably won’t use all of them, but jot down as many as you can remember.

Keep this list handy in case more memories pop up while you’re planning and writing.

You can also reach out to people who were with you at these times. Ask them to tell their version of the story and see what stands out to them. It might help you remember more details you had forgotten.

Sort through pictures and mementos from these times. Drag those keepsake boxes out of storage. Check out your posts on social media from different time periods.

Once you’ve got a long list of memories to work with, go through and decide which ones match the message or theme of your memoir. Also consider which memories are the most engaging or vivid in your mind.

4. Plan the Book’s Structure

Now it’s time to take all those memories and turn them into a narrative.

Decide how you want to structure your memoir. Will you tell the story in chronological order or order of significance? Will you alternate present and past events?

• Tip: You may find it helpful to use note cards or an online novel plotting tool to arrange and rearrange your stories.

It’s time to turn these random stories into a cohesive outline. Some people prefer a more detailed outline, while others may jot down the memories in a list. 

For every memory and anecdote, think about how they connect to the overall message or theme of your memoir. You may find it helpful to write these insights down on your outline.

5. Write the Memoir

Now comes the hardest part: sitting down and writing out the memoir.

Hopefully, the previous steps will make this stage easier. But there’s no substitute for sitting down in your chair and writing the memoir.

It’s helpful to set a writing schedule. Find time in your day that works for you to sit down and write. 

• Tip: Using a timer for timed writing “sprints” can help you write faster when you’re struggling with motivation.

Write forward. This means don’t stop to edit as you go. The first draft is just you getting the story on the page.

Your first draft doesn’t have to be good. You can always edit bad writing, and we’ll do that in the next step. For now, embrace the messy draft.

When the motivation wanes, remember why you’re writing your memoir. You want to tell your story to the world. It’s a good story, and people deserve to hear it. 

• Tip: Leave notes to yourself for things to look up, verify, or write later. You can do this in a list of things to fix or use brackets while you write.

6. Edit for Engagement and Clarity

Editing is my favorite part of the writing process because it’s when you turn your story from a rough draft to something beautiful.

There are several stages of editing. You’ll start with developmental editing. This is a good time to run ProWritingAid’s Critique Report on chapters to get an overview of what you’ve done well and what needs improvement.

Some other things to consider when developmental editing include:

• Every scene connecting to the theme or message

• Adding enough detail to be engaging

• Pacing and flow of the overall story

• A strong conclusion that ties the theme together

Next, you’ll do line editing. This step involves going line by line to improve your prose. You’ll want to focus on making your writing poignant, clear, and deliberate.

Pay special attention to description. Do you include enough sensory details and imagery to paint a picture?

Remember, you want to immerse readers in your memories. You might need to be creative and embellish if the details are foggy in your mind. 

• Tip: ProWritingAid’s Sensory Report will identify which of the five senses you’ve used.

Word choice is also important. Using strong verbs is the best way to engage readers. Avoid passive voice whenever possible to keep the reader in the moment. 

The final step of editing is proofreading. Use ProWritingAid’s grammar checker to help you find all your misspellings, grammatical errors, and typos. 

Examples of Great Memoirs

The best way to learn about writing memoirs is to read great memoirs. Here are some to get you started:

• Bossypants by Tina Fey

• Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris

• Call Me American by Abdi Nor Iftin

• Finding Me by Viola Davis

• Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

• What I Ate in One Year by Stanley Tucci

• I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

• In Order to Live by Yeonmi Park

• Lovely One by Ketanji Brown Jackson

Using ProWritingAid for Your Memoir

Editing your memoir doesn’t have to be daunting. Using ProWritingAid makes the editing process a breeze. 

As we mentioned previously, you can use the Critique Report for developmental editing. Analyze your chapters for things like pacing, tension, and description. It will highlight areas for improvement and provide actionable feedback.

When it comes to line editing, there are so many great reports to run, it’s hard to choose. The Style Report covers everything for sentence start repeats to passive voice. It might be the most powerful report you can run for line editing.

Best ProWritingAid Reports for Line Editing a Memoir

You can use the Sticky Report to analyze your writing for “glue” words. Too many glue words make your writing clunky and hard to read.

Don’t forget about the Sensory Report and Diction Report for descriptive writing.

If you get stuck, you can use the Rephrase tool or the Sparks tool to rework a sentence or continue your writing. 

Finally, run the Grammar Report for your proofreading to catch all those pesky errors and mistakes.

You’ve got a story worth telling. Follow the six simple steps above to write an amazing memoir, and remember, ProWritingAid is here to turn your messy draft into a memoir you can be proud of.